True Christian maturity begins with personal responsibility

NEW DELHI (Indian Catholic News) — Christians must outgrow the instinct to blame others and instead humbly admit their own faults, because repentance is the path to defeating sin and finding true freedom, Delhi Archbishop Anil Joseph Thomas Couto said.

In his July catechesis to the Archdiocese of Delhi, Archbishop Couto said accepting responsibility for one’s mistakes is a defining mark of Christian maturity in a world increasingly shaped by defensiveness and self-justification.

“We need to grow and be mature, and one of the signs of maturity is the ability to accept blame and say ‘sorry, I made a mistake,'” he said.

The archbishop described self-blame as “the most difficult thing to do in life” because admitting wrongdoing wounds human pride. “The natural tendency is to blame the other and shield oneself, because to accept blame is to humble oneself and admit one’s guilt.”

Instead, he said, people often “go on the defensive even though our conscience tells us that we are guilty.”

“This is the culture in which we live today — defend yourself at all costs even if your conscience accuses you of wrong doing and when the wrong itself is so apparent,” he wrote.

The roots of the ‘blame game’

Drawing on the Book of Genesis, Archbishop Couto said humanity’s tendency to shift responsibility began with Adam and Eve after the Fall.

“The man blamed his wife and the wife blamed the serpent,” he noted, adding that the “blame game” is ultimately “the result of sin,” understood as disobedience to God’s commands.

The devil, he said, continues to tempt people to silence their consciences through “excuses, shibboleths, side-tracking, cover ups etc.”

“But we cannot cheat God, who knows us through and through, our every thought, word and deed,” the archbishop wrote.

Christ offers the remedy, he said. “To be freed from this ‘blame game web’ Christ our Lord has called for repentance which is fundamental to the defeat of sin and the devil and for entry into the new life of God’s Kingdom.”

Archbishop Couto cited Jesus’ words in Luke’s Gospel that “repentance for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations.”

Fear of God and freedom of conscience

The archbishop also reflected on the gifts of the Holy Spirit, highlighting “fear of God” as indispensable for a healthy conscience and authentic Christian living.

Quoting Proverbs, he reminded Catholics that “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” “One who fears God will always endeavour to be true to God, to others and to oneself,” he wrote.

Such a person, he continued, “will never run away from the responsibility for the wrong that is done, will admit one’s mistake and will say, ‘yes, I am equally responsible.'”

“This is the road to inner freedom which comes from the Holy Spirit,” he added, calling it “the sum and substance of the Christians vocation.”

Learning from St. Dorotheus of Gaza

Archbishop Couto devoted much of his reflection to the teachings of sixth-century monk St. Dorotheus of Gaza, whose writings emphasize humility, obedience and the formation of conscience.

The saint observed that people react differently to insults depending on their spiritual disposition. Those rooted in prayer and contemplation can remain peaceful, while others become defensive because their hearts are unsettled.

Quoting St. Dorotheus, the archbishop highlighted what he called the source of human conflict: “The reason for all disturbance is that no one blames himself.”

St. Dorotheus argued that people seeking peace must first examine themselves rather than accusing others. “A man may indeed accomplish innumerable good deeds, but if he does not master this he will never attain peace,” the saint wrote. “Instead, he will always oppress himself and oppress others.”

The catechesis concludes by urging believers to welcome trials as opportunities for self-examination rather than resentment.

Using St. Dorotheus’ image of grain whose hidden decay appears only when crushed, Archbishop Couto said insults reveal weaknesses already present within a person’s heart. “If he wishes to gain mercy let him repent and purify himself and make serious efforts to do better,” he wrote.

Ending with a prayer, the archbishop asked that “the Holy Spirit grant us the light to see the ‘poison and rottenness’ inside so that we make progress in the path of virtue and holiness.”